T R U T H

It was almost like we overslept. The time bordered on commuter traffic bustle but we downed our coffee with vigor and headed for the Depot. Gathering the items on our checklist, we traversed an aisle with this box on the end that said in big letters Alchemizer. An employee approached us and asked if we're finding everything and I asked about this Alchemizer and what does it do? He said "it's an art maker." What?   He added "if you're painting a wall, it will show you how to get artisan quality". I was moved. We put one in our cart and instead of saving it for a paint project, I put it on the table in the yard as we planted the purple mums. Suddenly it was like a Twilight Zone episode with electric waves rearranging the talavera pots into this colorful, psychedelic arrangement. We looked at each other and said "NO!" Later that afternoon when we were looking at what was done, we wondered how this device that cost less than a hundred bucks could do what it just did. We tried it again the next day by standing next to it and asking "how can we arrange a party for the whole family?" and the Alchemizer took over my tablet and wrote out a message that a catered room at Mandolin Bay was reserved and all the RSVPs were back with Yes marked in the "can you come?" box.  This was a revelation and we were astonished by what it could do. The next morning our doorbell rang and this gal with a pink boa and platform heels was at our gate handing us a return request form for the Alchemizer. We asked if there was a problem and she replied "they're being recalled because some A-hole won a lawsuit against the Depot requiring a 100% pickup of all units sold". Reluctantly we handed over our Alchemizer but not a single day goes by when we don't recount that abbra-cadabbra that dazzled us in our yard in August 2013.