T R U T H

Finally got to see Spielberg's Lincoln and I was waiting for a King's Speech moment. Very good movie but was expecting over enthralled and got maybe a little bit enthralled. I had to wikipedia to find out 7 states already seceded and 10 states didn't even put Lincoln on the ballot in 1860. Not that the movie needed to cover that but the House looking like the infancy of the Boner years left us feeling how fewked we'd have been if he took the deal covered by the movie. Ah, we survived a civil war, outlasted the USSR and we still think we live in the most dangerous time in history. Enough about a movie - time to hear from one of my several personalities:

Shitting used to be a problem. As a boy, shit my pants several times and disliked the body function so much I used to cross my legs and try to push the emerging log back up my hiney hole using child reverse yoga. Used to think that saying "I'm channeling Shatner" as a clever way to announce taking a dump was original. What made me think of this was walking into the bathroom and realizing I wasn't the first occupant in the last 10 minutes. I named it the New Sloppy Seconds. Regrettably, that's not the worst nickname I ever came up with. I used to refer to my man tool as the greased pony, not realizing the connotation that pony is a mini-sized horse. Today I'll think up a new funny one but now is not the right time.

yes, there are 9s present on this day where I learned if your epileptic roomate has a seizure in the bathtub, the right thing to do is throw in your laundry.