T R U T H

That was a great line in When Harry Met Sally that I forgot until last night when it came out: " Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too." It takes me back to my 20s and my female friends who, of course, were friends because after all, I was married and you can't presume that "I'm coming on to you, I just want us to be friends." Harry Burns speaks the truth. The gist of it is that making friends with females when you're married is concealing you are really looking for your soulmate, if you aren't married to your soulmate. My Dad used to tell a joke about why dogs sniff other dog's assholes. He said all the dogs on earth one night went to a big dog convention that required every dog when they arrived to check their asshole at the door with the asshole check girl who gave them a ticket with a number on it. Well, there was a big fire in the convention hall and as each dog ran out, they grabbed any old asshole as they escaped the fire. Then to this day, every dog sniffs every other dogs asking "do you have my asshole? let me check if that's my asshole you have there." We're like the dogs looking for that one particular gal who completes your lifelong search for your soulmate even if you have to fake friendship as your motive. The thing is, once you've found her, you really can have female friends, even attractive female friends because you're truly not interested in nailing anybody but the woman who loves you and who you love more than life or even velvitos. Funny how that works out but it's the truth.

hi 8s, lo 9s today - revitalized and amortized for the duration. Next week I'll be 50 nineteen. Always thought I'd want to do the soixante-neuf on the day I reached it but too much goin' on down there so maybe I'll just sing about it.