January 10, 1994 and we're in Manassas, VA for the 1st day of Lorena Bobbit's trial for cutting her husband John's dick off. Two things to clear up at the outset; 1) This has no correlation to Steve Wynn's emasculation and 2) isn't it strange the trial is in a place that has man and ass in its name? I'm sitting in the 2nd row looking at this Ecuadoran who performed the act most men fear most in their worst dreams and she looks like Linda Cardellini more than Lizzie Borden. The trial went like any feminist crusader would write it. John was an abuser, Lorena was suffering from PTSD, not guilty. I approached one of the charachter witnesses during a break and she confided Lorena was always complaining about John not bringing her to climax when they boffed. Ah-ha! No Os for the dick slicer. The dick gets re-attached by 9 hours of surgery. Wait, where was after she acted out her mohel fantasy? In a field? In a fucking field? She threw it out the window of her car into a field? And they found it and re-attached it and he can still get a boner? This goes right up there with Neil Armstrong stepping on the moon and Barack getting re-elected. How can you stop the rain from falling down? What makes the world go round? Stop in the name of love.
